The grumpy flyer

Many years ago I spent 14 hours on a flight, in a seat that smelt like vomit. At the time, I did not want to make a fuss in a plane that was packed full and I just stayed there. By the time the flight finished, I promised myself that if something similar happened again I would say something.

When chances of an upgrade are slim to none, you consider yourself lucky if there is a spare seat next to you.

When we boarded our plane from Sydney to Abu Dhabi, the seat next to Ryan was free. Winning!!

The girl on the other side of the seat had twisted her ankle on her way to the airport and would need to use the seat to elevate it… Fair enough.

She then got upgraded. Winning! For her and for us. We then had 4 seats to ourselves. After take-off we slid into the two middle ones with relief that we would have room to stretch out when trying to sleep. Winning!

Shortly later a man asked to sit next to Ryan because his television was not working. The man made a complaint that he could not sit next to his wife, I think to get an upgrade. The hostess came back to advise there were no seats available down the front. The two seats next to us were the only two remaining side by side. NOT winning.

They asked if we would move over so they could sit there, assuring us that when it came time to sleep, they would move back to their original seats. Kind of winning!

First meal. I opened it up. The smell was atrocious. Kind of like it came straight out of the bin. It looked about the same. Not winning!

Cheese and biscuits for dinner/lunch/whatever meal it was.

Dessert of raspberry and vanilla Weis bar. Delicious. Winning!

The time came. The lady slipped on her night mask. Ok, I thought she might want to wait for her husband. The husband put on his night mask, ready for a snooze. I was ready for a snooze as well.

I leaned over. “Excuse me? Would you guys mind moving back to your seats as agreed?”
“There’s a man in our seat.”
“I’m sure he will move back to his own seat when you ask him.”

That would be a no!! NOT winning!

To make things better, the air hostess offered to get us some ice cream from business class. Winning!! Ok, it doesn’t take much to please me.

She brought two tubs of vanilla bean ice cream. Dumped them and walked away. No spoons. I tried to lick into the tub. The rock solid ice cream didn’t seem to taste any good anyway. Not winning!

The rest of the flight was spent not sleeping. I spent about an hour staring into Ryan’s ear, contemplating a wet willy (that means sticking my tongue in his ear). Yep, it was a long flight.

I watched some people play Tetris really badly. The guy near the window was definitely playing with himself, and not at Tetris!!

I decided to go to the toilet. Waited patiently. Moved over for the cart to go by, only for a lady to push in and go straight into the toilet. This is the lady that gave me the most intense death stare when we boarded the plane. Death stares are so much more intense when all you can see is their eyes through a burqa. At the time, I quickly slipped on a t-shirt over my singlet.

So she pushed in to go to the toilet. No big deal. After being in there for what felt like an eternity, I started to look at the time. 15 minutes later she came out. NOT winning. More defeat.

By the way, the toilet was filthy! (Grumpy flyer)

The flight of small wins and massive losses has finally ended. It leaves me wondering, would I be selfish enough to refuse someone a spare seat next to me in future? It seems that most other people on the plane are being selfish, so why not us as well? Time will only tell, if it happens again.

Meanwhile, I’m still not sleeping. Can’t say the same about Ryan:


Highlights of the flight:
1. The raspberry and vanilla Weis bar.
2. The kit kat.
3. The blanket was soft and cuddly.
4. Watching Ryan have to deal with a lady sleeping on his shoulder (that lady was not me).

1. as above

We now wait for our next flight. It is delayed for two hours at this stage. At least the wifi is good here. We should have taken the blankets off the plane because it is freezing.

Wish us luck for our next flight.

Happy Australia Day to those back home.

For anyone picking up any typographical or grammar errors, please be aware that I have been awake for over 24 hours. I also found the following random sentence when proof reading:
Deaf water at last!

Auds out.

3 responses to “The grumpy flyer

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